A Thought from a Quiet Friday Evening

It's incredible to me how the lesson's in life don't end, I thougt that they might get easier upon returning from Africa...but basically you're just in a more comfortable place to experience this time of learning. I am thankfull to God for this time, but that doesn't alway's mean it's easy!

After returning home from Africa I felt this numbness spiritually but I find that often when you are hurting from something in your life is when God can finally seep in through the cracks. Even when you've been trying to make it work all along.

I suppose what He is teaching me now and now that I think about it the whole time in Africa is that IT (meaning everything) is IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT CHRIST! For so long like I said I've felt numb, and recently I have felt this desire to become a better person, to have my life filled with ministry, to start up a minisitry to the homeless, to be a blessing to all those around me, to change...and it finally caught up to me tonight...I was feeling like I was failing! Tonight I listened to a sermon (from the His Robe or Mine book) and felt an answer from God. None of those things are going to make me a better person, those things are working from the outside of my life which is completely backwards from the way it should be, Christ wants to work from the inside out. From my heart out. I loved a thought that Frank Phillips shared...Christ doesn't work on an improved you...when He has your heart He transforms you into a new creature. Oh how badly I want that, but I think that Satan often gets us off track so easy...we see the outside of the end result and try to work towards it and end up getting it all backwards. Mom reminded me tonight of an experience that I had in Africa and of something that I had told her. It was after two babies had died and I was feeling helpless..."If God needs to use me to save someone He will" in this I must trust. It is Chrsit who does the saving not me!

Let me share with you one of my mother and I's favortie quotes that we often quote to eachother.

Isaiah 30:15
"For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved: in quietness and in confidence shal be your strength:..."

Bon Sabbat